Vedeesh is a long-time friend of our son, Matthew. They attended 7th grade together in California and they were separated when we moved from California to Georgia in 1987. Besides being the best of friends, both had similar interests, both pursued careers in Psychology and both work with children in their respective school districts. Their similarities ended when it came to the marriage ritual – Matt and his bride, Diane, chose a Justice of the Peace ceremony with 1 family member invited and Vedeesh and his bride had a traditional Hindu wedding. They have stayed in touch ever since and each have traveled across the country to spend time with each other on special occasions.
My wife, Natalie, and I were invited to the wedding and the reception, while Matt was to be one of 2 “Best Men” and would be there to assist Vedeesh in all of the ceremonies. This is my attempt to explain what I saw, felt and will remember for the rest of my life.
I knew we were in for something extraordinary when the invitations arrived. They were exquisite with separate invitations for each event.
The events commenced on the 5th of December and concluded with the reception on the 12th. That is EIGHT (8) days of celebrations and ceremonies, all running with barely a hitch. I am stunned at the amount of thought, preparation and details that went into this wedding. If you stay with me through this blog you will get some idea of what I am talking about.
The Shagan & Sangeet – The RED party. The engagement ceremony. The hosts appreciate and request that all guests attire in the color of love, happiness and joy ....... RED.
On the 8th of the month an Evening of Melodious Compilation, which consisted of an evening of classical Carnatic and Hindustani musical compilation.
The Mendhi, where the ladies have a traditional Indian ceremony their hands and feet are decorated in intricate patterns with henna mixed with water. The bride cannot wash her hands and feet with water for the next 12 hours to ensure that the colors come out dark and rich.
On the 9th – No Reservations. An exotic experience ... with a Punjabi Twist. An evening filled with new tastes in a familiar setting with family and friends. Leave your inhibitions behind and be prepared to drink and dine.
Vatna & Sainth. Traditional Indian rituals and ceremonies preparing the Groom for the Wedding Day. A paste of powdered turmeric, sandalwood powder and mustard oil is applied to his body in special order and then completed again in reverse order.
The Wedding Day. December 11th. The wedding was held at the Sri Venkateswara Hindu Temple located in Calabasas in the Santa Monica Mountains. This temple is one of the largest temples in the Western Hemisphere. Weather conditions were not ideal, temperatures in the low 50's with a slight drizzle at times, but this did nothing to curb the festivities or the spirit of those attending.
The ceremony is performed in Sanskrit, the language of the 4,000-year-old Vedic Scriptures, with English translations.
Sehra & Bandhi. Tying of a decorative headband which is placed on Vedeesh's head. A veil of flowers or or other decorative strands is attached to the headband.
The Baraat. Procession of Vedeesh's family and friends. Vedeesh arrives on a white horse and is led to the wedding venue by friends and family dancing to the beat of the north Indian dholak.
Milni. Welcoming the groom's party. Niru's mother, Radha, performs an AARTI (prayer) to honor Vedeesh. Niru's family and friends welcome and embrace Vedeesh's family and friends.
Entrance of the Bride. Niru arrives with her friends (bridesmaids) to the site of the ceremony.
Kasi Yatra. This is a very important part of the ceremony. It is believed that a young man has two alternatives – Grihasta (Married life) or Sanyas (Ascetism). Being escapist by nature he prefers the ascetic life to the trials and tribulations of married life. Vedeesh therefore 'makes his way' to Kasi complete with slippers, umbrella, bamboo fan etc. On the way, Niru's father intervenes and advises him of the superiority of married life, Srinivasan also promises to give Vedeesh his daughter as his companion to face the challenge of life.
The umbrella then remains with the groom as a reminder of this advice in the future – this is the real tradition.
Jai Mala/Mali Matral. Exchange of Garlands. Niru and Vedeesh exchange 3 sets of garlands. This exchange symbolizes their honor and respect for each other and signifies that the couple is consenting publicly to join in matrimony.
Oonchal/Pidi/Suthral – Swing ride and songs of praise. Niru and Vedeesh sit on a swing and married women first sprinkle milk on their feet and wipe their feet with the edges of their silk sari's.
Madhupak. Vow of sweetness. Niru welcomes Vedeesh and offers him Madhupak (a mixture of honey and yogurt).
Kanyadaan. Giving away of the bride. Niru's father , Srinivasan, joins the hands of Niru and Vedeesh, declaring that he is entrusting his daughter to Vedeesh.
Mangalya Dharanam. Tying of the bridal necklace. The priest gives the necklace to Vedeesh who, with the help of his sister Natasha, ties it around Niru's neck.
Havan Yajna. Vedic ritual. Vedeesh and Niru together light the holy fire.
Pratigya. Sacred vows. Vedeesh and Niru say their vows.
Shilarohan. Ceremony of the rock. Niru's cousin, Aravind, request Niru to place her foot on a rock and recite a mantra indicating it's significance – to be strong like a rock when faced with difficult situations in life.
Laja Homa. Offering of puffed rice for prosperity.
Magalphere. Walk around the Agni (fire). Vedeesh and Niru circle the sacred Agni 4 times, Vedeesh leading Niru for three times, then Niru leads Vedeesh for the fourth circle. Each circle represents the couples respect for the four Beings it represents – mother, father, teacher and God.
Gathbandhan. Tying of the nuptial knot.
Saptpadi. Seven steps. Vedeesh and Niru take seven steps together reciting mantras which express the meaning of each step.
Exchange of Rings. The couple exchange wedding bands as a symbol of their commitment to each other.
Jalasinchana. Sprinkling of Holy Water. Vedeesh's father, Mohinder, sprinkles holy water on the couple and recites a mantra for the couple to remain calm in mind and spirit and pure like the water.
Sindhoor. Vermillion ceremony. Vedeesh places Sinhoor (red vermillion powder) in the parting of Niru's hair. This signifies that Niru is now married in accordance with Hindu religious rites.
Giving of Necklace. Vedeesh, father places necklace around Niru's neck – a sign of welcoming her into the family.
Aashirvaad. Blessing of the newlyweds.
Shantipatha. Hymn of peace.
Reading of the Sehra. An ode to the Sehra.
Family and Friends are invited to Lunch.
Doli. Bride's departure.
The Reception. December 12th. The reception was held at the Westin Bonaventure Hotel in downtown Los Angeles with close to 400 attendees. Appetizers and cocktails were served from 6 pm with the Dinner and Dance scheduled for 7:15 pm. Wow, were we surprised. The dinner was preceded by a video show produced by the families demonstrating how Vedeesh and Niru met (very imaginative and well done) along with a slide show of their growing years. The families then made their grand entrance to music, dancing across the ballroom to the stage area. The last couple to enter were the bride and groom, who proceeded to the stage and sat on the couch. A crooner sang their favorite song to them and then it was time for the cutting of the cake followed by a rousing dance by a troupe of Indian dancers. A number of speeches followed from members of the families and the two “best men”, Matthew and Aaron. At the conclusion all guests were invited to the dance floor to to the beat of the dholak. Dinner was served at about 9pm consisting of a wide assortment of delicious Indian food. Natalie and I went to relieve Diane watching Xavier, our grandson, who had pooped out and gone to bed, in order that Diane could rejoin the party.
What will stay with us about this wedding is:
The Tradition. I am sure this will be passed on from generation to generation.
The Color. From the flowers to the Sari's, the Turbans, even the attire on the horse.
The Food. Each event had an abundance of savory Indian food, the majority being vegetarian, but shrimp tandoori and lamb curry were also favorites.
The Preparation. Preparation for the event was fantastic. I cannot imagine the time it took, or the the number of people involved, to put this event together.
The Friendship. The friendship that was evident between both families and their friends was undeniable.
Our thanks to the Saggar and Srinivasan families for giving us the privilege of attending the event and being the gracious hosts that they are.
